A New Experience (Number 1)

In the effort to keep my sanity, get out of the house and meet some more of the locals I have embarked upon a number of new experiences. One of which is a writing course through the local adult education centre in Kingston.

Being the Taurean I am, there was a mass of research to do before I signed up!

The winner was a short course ‘How to write a Novel’ and I chose this because; 

1. I wanted to see whether I liked it ; and 

2. To test whether I actually had any writing talent. Well there’s no need to continue if I don’t!

Point 1 I believe has been proven as a yes considering I came out of the class buzzing with an overwhelming sense to write. I also liked the fact it was a nice small class of 5 (including the teacher), me being the only Aussie amongst 2 Brits and an Irish woman (who I can't understand at all!). All I could interpret from 3 hours with her was the statement 'I only read Irish literature'. No comment.

The upcoming session this week will undoubtedly prove yes or no for point 2 because we have to submit the start of a novel. I'm rather nervous to submit something that is starting to be put to paper after being in my head for such a long time, what if its completely crap?! 

An Evening at the London Zoo

I never would have thought about going to the London Zoo had it not being for H booking the tickets. If you've experienced the craziness of Oxford Street, it completely destroys any sense of a peaceful oasis for animals ever existing in London. 

In any case during summer London opens up the Zoo in the evenings for adults only. So the ability to walk around the Zoo without prams and screaming children seemed particularly inviting.

Of course what we didn't think about was if you take away prams and screaming children it's replaced with something else ; alcohol and a completely different clientele. Which early on appears very well behaved until a few hours into their pimms and you find they're mimicking the animals we've come here to see. 

Overall the Zoo was fantastic to see and I was rather impressed by their exhibits with the rainforest area being my favourite. Essentially the birds and cheeky monkeys fly around and above you as you walk through. It's amazing to be so close to them.

Cheeky Emperor Tamarin

The Best Exhibit

However I have to make note of the Zoo being inundated by Chav types. And if you're not familiar with this term I can describe them as follows;

• Both Male and Female Chav's are bathed in fake tan (daily)
• A male Chav typically wears coudroy (grandpa) pants and shirt with jacket but definately no tie.
• Another point to note on the male Chav is he typically has facial hair and not just a light dusting of beard growth, a full beard. The hair is of a medium length and combed over with the use of a good dose of hair product.
• The female Chav decorates her fake tan with a heavy dose of makeup including the fake eyelashes. Typically you would not see a female Chav without the fake eyelashes.
• And she typically wears heels no matter the location or reason for an event which is decorated with a particularly short as possible dress or skirt. 
• This leaves the Male Chav and any other observer to note that it leaves not much to the imagination and hence breeding or the part before that is high on the minds of the Chav female. This is particularly enhanced when alcohol is involved, the drink of choice for these types.

If you're still not getting the Chav then I can summarise for those Aussies out there, essentially if you were in a small Aussie country town and you saw a male Chav walking down the street you would think he was batting for the other team and if you saw a female Chav you would wonder what a Sydney corner worker is doing here!

The Supermarket Experience

The topic of Supermarkets doesn’t particularly sound very interesting, however there is something that really bugs me and I just have to share it with you.

I’m not sure what the statistics show in terms of landfill around the world, but if we were to base it on the amount of pre-packaged goods within Waitrose, for example, the UK would beat any country hands down.

Let’s take the example of a simple roast chook. Now in the real world one would expect to buy a plain chook, preferably free range, and at home add the flavours desired. My preference is lots of lemon, garlic and thyme.  We would then take our vegetables from scratch, wash, peel and chop them and cook them as we require.  

Now, going back to Waitrose.... if we popped down there to purchase the items for a ‘simple roast chook’ we’d be met by an array of options.  The chicken would be wrapped in so much plastic and cardboard it would sufficiently fuel a little campfire to toast marshmallows. Additionally you could have the option of going gourmet and picking up a Delia chicken or perhaps going even more gourmet (double gourmet) and getting a Heston chicken, whereby it comes with a lot of little extras and very specific instructions on how to cook the ‘perfect chicken’. Then when it comes to vegetables, well you have a specific ‘roast vegetable’ pack that you essentially just need to chuck into the oven as it’s all been peeled and chopped for you. And the roast potatoes, well they’re already pre-cooked so you just have to warm them up!

Essentially I can come home after a days’ work to just rip the packaging off a chook, vegies and bits, toss it in the oven or on the stove top and presto I have a gourmet roast. Now my other half maybe very impressed by my cooking Heston’s ‘perfect chicken’ however that kind of cooking just doesn’t cut it for me. How bland and boring is it to just take some food out of plastic, throw it in a pot and serve it up.  Not to mention the health aspects, god knows what additives they’re adding in there secretly!

And let us not forget to mention the laziness society is breeding with the addition of more and more pre-packaged options. Women of the next generation(s) will not have any idea how to cook (or clean but don’t get me started on that one).

Don’t get me wrong, the odd Lean Cuisine is a necessary addition to the freezer for those opportune moments, however there is the art of balance.

OK I’ve had my whinge now so will leave you in peace, but welcome your thoughts on this British phenomenon.